Youth: Find Wonderful...

This is a post I've been trying to write for a long time. For some reason, the words just wouldn't come. BUT when I was asked to give a testimony at a LifeTeen Youth Ministry training retreat this weekend, this was the first thing that came to my mind and the words just came. This is a slightly adapted version of my personal testimony.

This is why I love youth ministry.

Anybody who knows me for longer than 15.8 seconds knows I’m a very passionate person. I’m also very cynical, very strange and I love people (even if most of the time I pretend I really don’t).

I also consider myself to have a great sense of wonder – but this hasn’t always been the case.

Now, months ago, Myer was running a campaign – ‘Find Wonderful.’ You can watch it here. For our American friends, ‘Myer’ is a department store probably equivalent to Macy’s or Bloomingdale’s. If you watch the ad, it speaks of the sense of wonder you experience as a child and how one day, ‘we all got serious in a great great blah of ‘adequate.’’ The ad then goes on to ask ‘why, when there’s so much to feel wonderful about?’

Now, the first time I saw the campaign I started to reflect, and then being me, got distracted with all the pretty Parisian dresses and impossibly high heels. BUT, the second time I saw the campaign, I thought about it. Where did the world’s sense of wonder go? When did life get ordinary?

Kids – teens – have a sense of wonder. Being a part of iSeek helped me become both a witness to and a part of that wonder. There is nothing more beautiful than watching them fall in love with the drama of love that is Christ. There is nothing more rewarding than being a part – however small – of their realisation that Jesus is not just ‘almighty God’ – all knowing, all powerful, ever present: distant – but that He is a person, who out of love for them, came to earth, suffered and died – and even more than that, imprisons Himself in the tabernacle day and night waiting for them. Even more than THAT even, He would do it all again for them ALONE. Once someone realises that Jesus needs to first an foremost be an encounter, there is no turning back – they’re ruined.

I think that’s the thing I love most about youth ministry. I call them ‘Jesus baby moments.’ AT LEAST every once in a while, a teen will walk up to me and show me why it’s all worth it.

Just a couple weeks ago, one of our girls walked up to me just to chat. While we were talking, she told me she couldn’t wait to leave school and that she would join the first religious order that would accept her as a sixteen year old. She then went on to criticise teens her age for not understanding where their priorities should lie – ‘like, I don’t understand why a fourteen year old needs a boyfriend – they’re not gonna get married anytime soon, BUT I’m really happy that a little while ago one of my friends told me he and his girlfriend had spoken and decided to choose love over lust.’ I guarantee they didn’t learn that from MTV.

Another time, right after same sex marriage passed in the U.S. Supreme Court and the rainbow profile pictures as well as ‘love won’ statuses became popular, one teen posted on Facebook ‘love truly won when Christ spread His arms out in the ultimate sign of love for you and I; when He died.’ Another posted it was ‘upsetting how the world is fed these lies’ only to prompt a response from another iSeek teen: ‘you know what’s crazy about Christianity, people are always jumping over what we are ‘against,’ instead of what we’re about: unconditional love.’

When teens refer to the Eucharist as ‘Jesus’ or ‘Heaven on earth,’ or speak about us as the ‘Mystical Body of Christ’ – yes, that actually happened – it never fails to make my heart dance. When I watch teens in adoration or observe them afterwards, I know we are doing something worthwhile.

That’s why I love youth ministry. It helps us never lose the sense of wonder that made us fall madly in love with Christ and His Church in the first place. Pope Pius XI used to love mountain climbing, and often used it as an analogy of how our relationships get us to Heaven. We and the teens help each other up, sometimes looking below at what we have overcome, but always motivated by what is above: the deepest, most wonderful desires of our hearts. What eye has not seen and ear has not heard, a beauty we can never imagine.

Taking Christ's call to be 'childlike' PERHAPS a little too 

seriously - but, hey, I'll bet you don't have this much fun!

The J-O-Y of Lent-fullness...

Fast, pray, give away. 

Lent. Be lent-ful. Focus on God. Be good. Don't gossip. Don't get angry. Curb the road rage. Curb all rage. Mustn't be mean to (very) silly siblings. Must retract two words from previous sentence. Fine, conscience, they're retracted - I wasn't at all being Lent-ful. Eat less flesh, more musical fruit (makes you do something that rhymes with "Bart..."), speaking of eating - must do more dishes, complain less about doing aforementioned dishes... Why don't we use plastic plates again? Oh yes, wasteful. Can't be wasteful... not in Lent. 

Fast, pray, give away. 

... Until Easter. Oh man, Easter is awesome. Jesus rises ANDDDDD to celebrate, all those Lenten promises I made and did my best to stick to can go jump. I can eat meat, don't have to fast, can stop doing all those *excess* prayers, and can stop giving money to every homeless guy I run in to (read: almost trip over) on the way to work.

Excellent. 

Fast, pray, give away. 

... Be transformed.

I was always taught to give up a favourite treat during lent. Soft drink? Chocolate? McDonalds? I would consider it miraculous just HOW GOOD Coke tasted on Easter Sunday, when I was finally 'liberated' from the yoke of self-mortification and free to drink as I pleased. 

If only I was taught earlier just how transforming the practices of Lent are. Then maybe I would have witnessed a true miracle - the cleansing of a soul that has reconnected with itself, God, and others. Fast, pray, give away. 

FAST, that you may master your will and be able to practice self denial. Grace comes next - spiritual baby steps soon become leaps of the soul. 

PRAY, that your soul may understand the language of the Lord. In this way, you may become one. (Ahem, Eucharist junkie reporting for duty... mass is the highest form of prayer, Holy Communion the surest way to become one with God - His blood beats through your veins!)

GIVE AWAY, that you may be reconciled to the community. Let your interior transformation manifest itself in good deeds. Make the world that little bit shinier. 

The Maronite Church focuses on the miracles of Christ during this season. Odd, right? Why not focus on His preaching? The prophecies about His death and resurrection? 

I kinda came upon this answer over the course of a few days. Not only do these miracles make us journey with Christ to the end of his public ministry, but their message is very lent-ful (Kylie, stop trying to make 'lent-ful' happen, it's not going to happen)...

Let's take a quick look at just one gospel extract. Jesus healing the blind man. Why talk about him in Lent? Because he is a model of faith for us. Turns out the Church kinda knows what She's doing (I'm not shocked either)...

The blind man, in his eyes at those of society, had a spiritual ailment (curse) that manifested itself into a severe physical ailment (blindness). Through declaring Him Lord and petitioning the King of Kings ("Son of David, have mercy on me!"), and recognising Him as Lord, he was made clean. 

This is why we FAST, because we need to rid ourselves of interior dispositions which often manifest themselves into sin and make ourselves clean by PRAYER - throwing ourselves into the arms of the Saviour. 

The key to the story is this: Bartimaeus didn't just go back to his normal life after he was healed. Quite the contrary. He recognised what the Lord had done for him and allowed this to have an impact on his life! He followed Jesus to the Cross. 

We are on the same path as Bartimaeus. When we are healed, we are then able to follow Him to the Cross. Should we heed this lesson, our reward will one day be to rise and reign with Him and the Church Triumphant in the kingdom prepared for us from the beginning of time. 

Don't just do Lent, be lent-ful. Be transformed. 

J-O-Y

Jesus-Others-Yourself

Pray-Give Away-Fast

P.S. When getting down or feeling unmotivated, think about this. Allow me to quote a wonderful priest who spoke about Lent last week. 

"What is the difference between fasting and feasting? One letter: "E" for "Emmanuel." When we have Emmanuel in our lives we are not fasting, we are fEasting."

Sportsmanship: don't let it die...

I read an article today about the most recent Nadal v. Smyczek Australian Open tennis match (pronounced smee-check if I know anything about European dictation, which I don't)...

In a best of 5-set match, the scores were quite close in Nadal's favour. During the world no. 1's ball toss, a spectator allegedly yelled very loudly, causing him to fault. His opponent, seeing the injustice in this, called for the point to be replayed rather than allow a fault be declared, resulting in quite a display of appreciation from Rafa, who referred to him as a "gentleman" for his show of sportsmanship. 

The Spaniard went on to win the match after such a crucial moment was dealt with such class. When questioned about why he did this, Smee-Check downplayed the action, even praising his opponent: "You know, I thought it was the right thing to do... I thought I had him for a minute... But he turned it up to another gear. That's why he's been one of the best for years and years."

Lovely. But why should this be inspiring? It's not often I feel struck to enough to blog about sport. In fact, despite my fanatical family's best efforts, I am not really a massive sport person, but I do think that acts of sportsmanship should be the usual. The real shame here is that this is even newsworthy. It should be considered noble (because it is), but it should also be normal. 

See, often despite my best efforts, I watch quite a bit of sport for somebody who couldn't care less about most games. 

I see children who idolise their favourite players. I am not naive to the point of saying "kids shouldn't be idolising players, they want to play, not be role models," because being in the public eye doing what you love comes with a particular responsibility. What's my issue with this? Watch a game of NRL and the game is rife with men whose weekend antics are nothing short of disgusting. Their actions on the field should often be anything but glorified. Watch the NBL and the commentators have more to say about the players' lack of fidelity to their wives and sneaky fouls than their skill on the court. 

Why should it be this way? Sport should be a community building activity. It should be fun, competitive (in a healthy way) and should inspire children and adults alike to push, train, practice and persevere at their chosen art. It's not impossible. 

I read an article years ago about the American baseball great and devout Catholic as well as JPII-junkie, Stan Musial. In fact, American Cardinal Dolan praised him quite rightly as "one of the best baseball players ever, an inspiration to generations, whose very name stands for integrity, professionalism, loyalty and championship." This was a man who had a stellar career, and yet when asked what his most memorable moment was, cited Wojtyla's election as pope - blitzing even his 3000-hit milestone. He was good friends with the late (great!) Holy Father, and spent his retirement frequenting Rome. 

Cardinal Dolan even said that meeting Musial at 10 years old was one of his best childhood memories - he remembered the love and attention he was shown and how good it felt to have his idol treat him as a friend. 

Imagine sport was full of characters like this! Imagine when we watched our favourite game, we watched a display of teamwork, physical fitness, sportsmanship, talent and class. How different our newspaper headlines would look! 

Phillip Rivers is a modern day example of a sportsman to be admired. As an NFL quarterback (Aussies who know nothing about NFL - that kinda means he's the captain, playmaker and main man all wrapped up into one), he never misses an opportunity to be a role model to those who idolise him. Just look at this interview with life teen if you don't believe me. 

Passion for your art never gives you an excuse to act like a barbarian. Living 'on the road' shouldn't mean you abandon the sacraments and any vows (spoken or otherwise) that you make to your loved ones. In fact, sport being a public spectacle should be considered even more of an opportunity to showcase grace. 

Holiness can be found in the most unlikely of places, and no matter what our calling, nobody is exempt from the commandment to "make disciples of all nations." We've all been given the graces - we just have to use them. 

One can't help but wonder what kind of Cardinal he liked more... 

holiness comes with many faces, all of which are 

faithful to truth, goodness and beauty.

Wisdom from the Mouths of Babes...

I love kids. I’m that girl that is constantly being forwarded or tagged in clips of kids doing funny, weird, or downright adorable things.

I’ve loved kids forever – my friends often tease me and imitate the faces I make at random children. That girl cooing over your child at the shopping centre? That’s me. The girl holding your baby (and yes, we’ve probably only just met)? Me. The psychopath describing your baby to you as ‘edible,’ ‘squishy’ or telling you they want to take a bite out of your child’s fatness? Me. Yes, I’m not being literal (it’s sad I have to clarify that), but the point is this: I love kids.

Until today, I’ve never really thought about it that much. Yes, kids are awesome, but why do they have this effect on us? Why can we watch them for hours on end, seem to have infinitely more patience for them and just want to be around them?

I think I’ve figured it out: at least for me. Joy. The uncontainable, beautiful, unhinged joy children possess and emanate in their every action. There is nothing more amazing to watch.

They remind us that no matter how bad things are, a smile can light up the room. Laughter is a song that can often make your soul remember how good life can be. It’s funny – the littler the person, the bigger the soul, the more beautiful their joy appears to those around them.

We were given a commandment to “be fruitful and multiply.” God knows what He’s doing – children teach us love, patience, hope, service. They show us to be pleased with the littlest things in life, a fun song, a colourful something, a ball, our parents, our carers. Watch the way a mother cares for her child, or how much she goes through to bring a child into the world and you’ll suddenly be grateful for both the big and small things our mothers do and endure for us. If we were all like that, don’t you think we’d all be happier?

If we were like children, little and innocent, grateful and trusting – would not most of our troubles simply dissipate?

St. JPII **The Great** (yes, I’m a junkie – let’s not dwell too much on this point) told us: “we need to make a bigger deal out of ordinary love.” Isn’t this what mothers have been saying for generations? We can’t forget the monotony and unremarkable everyday actions exhibited every day that rather than frustrate us, should show us how to love one another.

Uncle Fults clarifies to us: “a mother is a double benefactor to humanity: its physical preserver, and its moral provider. Through life, and through the high personal qualities of her children, she is the universe's constant challenge to death, the messenger of cosmic plenitude and the bearer of eternal realities.”

When we rejoice in children, when we spend time with them and love them with a Christlike love, we can not help but be struck by how much we learn – little people are wiser than we give them credit for!

"She's not heavy, she's my sister..."

I am the manger of the Lord…

He’s coming!

The Messiah, whose coming was awaited and prophesied for generations, is coming! The psalms speak of Him as “… more beautiful than the children of men,” (Psalm 45). They venture that "... In his days the righteous will flourish; prosperity will abound till the moon is no more. He will rule from sea to sea... He will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no-one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death...  and they will call him blessed" (Psalm 72).

This was the King of Israel, the mighty God, prince of peace, wonderful counsellor, Father forever, God with us. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, the Resurrection and the Life – He was even mocked and abandoned for calling Himself the Bread of Life!

Yet, He did not come down into a palace, but a lowly inn. He wasn’t born of a righteous King, but a virgin orphan girl who said “yes” to God in the simplest yet most spectacular and magnificent fashion.

On the day He chose to take our lowly human flesh, the whole of creation was quiet. Angels and demons as well as all created things on Heaven and on Earth were awaiting her answer: “I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done unto me according to thy word” (Luke 1:38). I can just picture Heaven (well, I can’t picture it) – I can imagine shouts of jubilation and dancing. Imagine Abraham and the righteous forefathers and the glee they knew would soon be theirs. I can imagine St. Michael rejoicing with the Angels – she who would “crush the head of the serpent” (Genesis 3:15) had said yes!!!

Thus, God was conceived. The Word – the very “light of our path and lamp unto our feet” (Psalm 109) has become… a baby.

Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen (otherwise known as 3amou Fulty) tells us that “once He appeared, He struck history with such impact that He split it in two, dividing it into two periods: one before His coming, the other after it.”

A baby did all of this? God could have chosen any way to come down, but He became a baby? Yes. He did. He became a baby. He came down, took our flesh – our flesh that shall one day return to dust – in order that He may raise us up on the last day.

What other faith can claim that their God is this recklessly loving? This humble, this BEAUTIFUL?

See, when we look at nativity sets we generally think of a neat little room covered in hay and this beautifully built little wooden cradle. We imagine light either coming from the ceiling leading to the Godchild or light emanating from Him. We see Our Lady, all pretty and clean-looking, with the incredible St. Joseph looking on. Even the animals are glorified. This is all well and good if we’re talking Christmas decorations, because who would actually display the reality?

Jesus came to get messy. The room would have been full of poo. It would have stunk. The manger was a feeding trough – dirty and just as smelly as that tiny room. Our Lady had just come off a long journey with the man who was entrusted with her dignity as well as protecting the life of the Son of God. I definitely don’t claim to be a mystic, but I don’t think she would have been all white skinned and pretty after an ordeal like the one she had just gone through. They had knocked on every door in Bethlehem and been rejected. There had been "no room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7).

St. Joseph went through the turmoil of not being able to find a place for his beloved bride to give birth to the Redeemer of the world, the long awaited Messiah. The Prince of Peace was about to become flesh and Joseph couldn’t even find a simple room for Him to lay. Eventually, they resorted to a little stable, the lowliest of places. God did not come to glorify things of the flesh. He did not want to come and give honour to temporal or earthly things.

We do the same thing to Our Lord every time we put sin ahead of our love for Him. Christ is knocking on the door of our hearts and we tell Him there is no room for Him there either. But, if only we knew the glory that will be ours should be accept our Emmanuel in the room of their hearts, we would no sooner give him everything, including our lives. We would live for Heaven alone.

How do we accept Him into our hearts? How do we reincarnate Him into our souls everyday in order to give Him honour?

Peter Kreeft tells us:

“If we speak Mary’s word, then the Word of God is born in our souls just as really as He was in Mary’s body and just as really as He is in the Eucharist. What happened in Bethlehem, what happens in our souls and what happens when we receive the Eucharist is the same event under three different modes… When you look at your Nativity set, at this most natural and ordinary thing in the word, a mother and a newborn baby, you are reading a pictorial newspaper headline that announces the most extraordinary event in the history… the Creator consented to come into His creature because she consented to have Him… Every time we consent to His perpetual proposal, every time we make an act of faith, and every time we receive the Eucharist, we redo Mary’s fiat and make Christmas happen.”

Our bodies, once a dirty stable, smelly and unworthy, are infinitely more honoured than that little stable we have seen for generations since, once we consume He who was born in a feeding trough. He signified the most humble of all His endeavours by coming into the world and laying in a manger, so that every time we consume the Eucharist, our body, once a little inn, becomes His palace. 

One day, when we reach our Heavenly destiny, we can, in imitation of the humility of Christ and His Blessed Mother, also attribute all our good gifts to God the same way Our Lady did: “my soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour… for He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name.” (Luke 1:46-49)

Welid el Masi7! Halleluia!

Reflections on the Feast of Christ the King...

I know, I’m Maronite. In my rite, today is not the Feast of Christ the King. However, beautiful weather dictates I sit by my pool and work on my tan. This meant early morning Roman rite mass. But, before I apply my tanning oil, I’m in my office writing this.

Reason being? Well, I felt inspired.

First I’ll tell you where the feast came from, then I’ll tell you why I was shocked in the best-kinda-Catholic-way when I heard the gospel reading.

Pope Pius XI instituted the Feast of Christ the King in his 1925 encyclical letter Quas Primas. The title of the feast was "D. N. Jesu Christi Regis" (Our Lord Jesus Christ the King). Pope Paul VI gave the celebration a new title: "D. N. Iesu Christi universorum Regis" (Our Lord Jesus Christ King of the Universe). He also gave it a new date: the last Sunday in the liturgical year, before a new year begins with the First Sunday in Advent and assigned to it the highest rank, that of "Solemnity".

Why did Pius XI institute this feast? He wanted it to impact the laity.
"… If to Christ our Lord is given all power in heaven and on earth; if all men, purchased by his precious blood, are by a new right subjected to his dominion; if this power embraces all men, it must be clear that not one of our faculties is exempt from his empire. He must reign in our minds, which should assent with perfect submission and firm belief to revealed truths and to the doctrines of Christ. He must reign in our wills, which should obey the laws and precepts of God. He must reign in our hearts, which should spurn natural desires and love God above all things, and cleave to him alone. He must reign in our bodies and in our members, which should serve as instruments for the interior sanctification of our souls, or to use the words of the Apostle Paul, as instruments of justice unto God." ?

- Quas Primas (Pius XI)

He rules our minds, our wills, our hearts, our bodies. He is Christ the King. So what was the gospel reading today?

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,  I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ 

- Matthew 25:41-45

I love the Church. He is the King, but on the feast that commemorates His kingship, when we’re meant to reflect on Him reigning our hearts, wills, minds and bodies, we speak of him as a vulnerable servant. WEIRD…

Contrary to what the world thinks, His being a servant is what makes Him the ultimate King. 

Why? Christ did not come to glorify the flesh but the spirit. He did not live a life of riches, but because of this – because, and not in spite of it – His life was one of distinction. What did the world see? His palace was an inn, later a simple home in Nazareth. His birth was celebrated only by shepherds and animals. He was born in the feeding trough of donkeys and sheep. His Mother was a young girl of no notable birth. He didn’t dine with royalty, but tax collectors. His own people hated Him. His crown? Thorns. His vestments? Sackcloth. The only scarlet cloak He wore was given to Him in mockery then savagely torn from Him in His passion. His followers were mere fishermen and merchants, and yet even they betrayed him.

What does Heaven see? His palace is in the hearts of those who love Him. His birth was celebrated by shepherds and animals, as well as all the hosts of Heaven. It was foretold for thousands of years by the prophets. The angels sang endless chants of “Hallelujah!” This was the long awaited Messiah. He was born in the feeding trough of donkeys and sheep, to foretell His new temple: our feeding trough, the tabernacle. His Queen Mother was a virgin, born without sin – God’s greatest creation. He dined and came for those who needed to be saved. He came to call sinners! And for these sinners, he wore a crown of thorns and endured hatred, and eventually His passion. The world could not take away His kingship, because Christ’s kingdom is not of this world. "My kingdom is not of this world… but now my kingdom is from another place" (John 18:36).

His kingdom is not temporal. It is spiritual. His Kingdom cannot be overcome by its enemies, the enemies of love. Christ’s kingdom is in our hearts. We see his spiritual Kingdom in the hearts of those around us, and know that we reflect a microcosm of Heaven in the Church, made up of us – living stones.

THIS IS THE TRUE KINGDOM.

God: the not-so-cruel comedian…

God doesn’t just laugh at your plans, He discards them.

We tell God our plans, our deepest desires and deepest dreams. We share our disappointments and sorrows and ask Him – “why?” We cry and call out desperately to a God who we think forgets us. Psalm 63 expresses our feelings of abandonment: “my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you.” We think He is distant, that He wants us to realise our own strength.

How wrong we are.

We are being stalked by the love of God. When we read in Psalms 23:6 “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,” what we are actually reading is “God is hunting us down to give us His gifts, and not because we deserve them!” Following is a subtle, submissive action, but the Hebrew word King David used for ‘follow’ here is the same word as ‘stalk,’ or ‘hunt down.’ Nothing subtle about it!

God is love. He is who made our hearts and who our hearts were made for. He is everything we need. God loves us so much He couldn’t stand to just be an observer of our lives. God doesn’t sit back! He walked with Adam. He talked with Moses. He became a man, to share our humanity and give us His divinity. He suffered that we may understand just how much He loved us. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son…” What this is actually saying is “God loved the world *like so*.” It is not simply a declaration of how much He loved us, but more HOW He loved us.

Then, He left the Earth and wasn’t content to simply be a God who was among us when He was incarnated. He is now within us. Every time we consume Him in the Eucharist, His adorable blood pulses through our veins. Does that scare you a little? Good. God likes to get personal, especially when we don’t deserve it.

We read in Stephen Chbosky’s ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’ that “we accept the love we think we deserve.” Yes. Yes, we do. This is the exact reason why God disregards our plans. We accept the love we think we deserve, but He knows what we deserve. He laughs at our dreams for ourselves and says ‘is that it? Just wait – wait and see what I have planned for you!’ His plans are unimaginable, inexplicable. They make our wildest human reveries look like fairy tales written by Ebenezer Scrooge.

Why? Because only He that made you knows you and knows your value. He knows what will make you happy, if only you put your life in His hands and allow Him to show you the way: and more than that, to have the courage to do what He wants, not what will merely keep you in your comfort zone.

We are not ‘stuck’ where we are at the moment. We are not here by coincidence or as a part of some cruel divine comedy God designed for His own entertainment. Our situation now is meant to prepare us for the place God wants to bring us into tomorrow. Trusting His plan is not contingent on understanding it!

See, as impatient as we are, God’s timing is not ours. He doesn’t operate on our schedule or when His plans suit us. His way is infinitely greater. He is never too early and never too late.

Maybe some of you can relate to this: I know sometimes in my life, I give God my struggles. I tell Him I want to trust Him, and to accept that I’m trying. I tell Him that at least for now, trying to trust him completely has to be enough until I can let go. Not long after this (often dramatic) resolution and promise, I get impatient. I tell God He’s too slow. He isn’t fixing it the way I want Him to. *He* isn’t enough. I snatch back my baggage only to hand it back not long after, when I realise how weak I am. On my own I am powerless, because I don’t rely on the grace from He whose “power is made perfect in weakness.” Then I pray for perseverance and the cycle starts over. Soon comes discouragement.

I’m learning - let go, let God. How can he fix me if I never relinquish control???

I am trying, as we all are. For encouragement, allow me to channel JPII: “you are not who they say you are, let me remind you who you are.”

We are children of the King, the ultimate Father who denies His children no good gift. Our King is not moved by the world. He walks with us. He knows our every step and, as we walk, He lays down the gifts of grace along our path. Have no fear, we are His. Maybe one day, in Heaven, we will join with St. Augustine in telling Our Lord: “You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me… I burned for your peace.”

Yahweh promised His bride Israel, as Jesus promised His Bride, the Church (us!): “… I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” We spoke of Psalm 63 putting into words how neglected we often feel. The psalmist later reassures us in the same stanza: “you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”

If that’s not enough, nothing will ever be. 

... Jesus, I (want to!) trust in you.