Friday 30 December 2016

5 Cheesy Lessons From The Year That Was...

As 2016 comes to an end, I sit and reflect on the year that was. 

The things I've learned are simply things that those smarter than me always tried to drill into me - things that are best learned with experience and better understood through trials than from joys.

These are the five cliches I've been fortunate to have reconfirmed to me in 2016:

1. God takes with one hand and gives with the other. 
I've had some of the greatest and some of the toughest times of my life this year. During the good times, I've asked God to give me the grace of gratitude. During the tough times, I've felt myself running around and around in circles, only realising the stability I've been searching for has been standing waiting for me - Waiting. For. Me. To. Just. Look. Up. 
#2016kylietip During the tough times, look around at who's beside you. Appreciate those who call you just to cheer you up, be grateful for the friend who texts you just to tell you you're amazing or that they're praying for you. Renew your gratitude for those who have probably always been your pillar of support but often go unnoticed: your parents, best friends, cousins, siblings. It may feel like God is pulling you, roots and all, out of the ground that you're standing on - just know He's watering that very same soil with the other. 

2. Ask Jesus what He wants of you and be brave. 
These are words spoken once by Pope Francis. simple, yet ever so profound. Even during the good times, pray that tough prayer that breaks your heart. BUT, here's the key: even when He gives you His gentle, dreaded, persistent answer, swallow your fear and do what you know you need to. Only then can you be truly sure of your decision.
#2016kylietip Just do. Trust in Him. Even if it breaks your heart, inner peace is something that cannot be bought.

3. You accept the love you think you deserve. 
Despite what Chbosky may think, this isn't something you learn just being a wallflower. Have the courage to demand more of the people around you. Nobody that ever expected nothing of their loved ones and friends was ever happy: set your standards high, know what you deserve and accept nothing less. As an aside, I'm not necessarily talking about romantic love here, but all relationships. My good friend Eleanor reminds us: no one can make you feel inferior without your consent - don't give your consent to be treated as anything ordinary, you are far from.
#2016kylietip You're amazing - you are unique, wonderful, perfectly made. Believe that and you'll never let anybody dare treat you otherwise. Even if sometimes you feel a little alone, at the very least you'll always be able to trust that you won't let yourself down, even if so many do.

4. You only make people better by treating them like they *are* better. 
This is a nuance to the last point. Nobody is perfect, least of all you. Expect better of people, but know that *you* make people better only by showing them how truly amazing they are, and then treating them as such. Nobody ever wants to change for an asshole, but everybody wants to live up to what the people around them think they are.
#2016kylietip Be a friend, forgive others, set examples, watch people around you grow as a result. 

5. The things you're passionate about make you who you are: don't let anybody convince you otherwise. 
Passion is what drives humanity toward good, beauty, truth, progress. Nobody ever achieved anything by giving up when things got hard or when they were mocked for that one thing they just refused to give up on. However minuscule it is or however silly it may seem, just know that indifference never achieved anything. Again channelling Mrs. Roosevelt: the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
#2016kylietip Hold on to the things that make your heart flutter and your brain hurt. Don't ever let go of what you know is your contribution to the world around you. 

So. What about 2017, then? 
In January, while on a spiritual retreat with some of my favourite people in the world, I wrote myself a letter. It got mailed to me recently to remind me of how I felt that weekend - unfailingly my favourite weekend of every year. The last few words I wrote to myself summarise my 2017 resolution (and indeed my entire #lifegoal).
Love recklessly, pray ceaselessly. All is in that.

When these are only SOME of the people who make up your
universe, you're bound to come out OK (at least...)