5 Cheesy Lessons From The Year That Was...

As 2016 comes to an end, I sit and reflect on the year that was. 

The things I've learned are simply things that those smarter than me always tried to drill into me - things that are best learned with experience and better understood through trials than from joys.

These are the five cliches I've been fortunate to have reconfirmed to me in 2016:

1. God takes with one hand and gives with the other. 

I've had some of the greatest and some of the toughest times of my life this year. During the good times, I've asked God to give me the grace of gratitude. During the tough times, I've felt myself running around and around in circles, only realising the stability I've been searching for has been standing waiting for me - Waiting. For. Me. To. Just. Look. Up. 

#2016kylietip During the tough times, look around at who's beside you. Appreciate those who call you just to cheer you up, be grateful for the friend who texts you just to tell you you're amazing or that they're praying for you. Renew your gratitude for those who have probably always been your pillar of support but often go unnoticed: your parents, best friends, cousins, siblings. It may feel like God is pulling you, roots and all, out of the ground that you're standing on - just know He's watering that very same soil with the other. 

2. Ask Jesus what He wants of you and be brave. 

These are words spoken once by Pope Francis. simple, yet ever so profound. Even during the good times, pray that tough prayer that breaks your heart. BUT, here's the key: even when He gives you His gentle, dreaded, persistent answer, swallow your fear and do what you know you need to. Only then can you be truly sure of your decision.
#2016kylietip Just do. Trust in Him. Even if it breaks your heart, inner peace is something that cannot be bought.

3. You accept the love you think you deserve. 

Despite what Chbosky may think, this isn't something you learn just being a wallflower. Have the courage to demand more of the people around you. Nobody that ever expected nothing of their loved ones and friends was ever happy: set your standards high, know what you deserve and accept nothing less. As an aside, I'm not necessarily talking about romantic love here, but all relationships. My good friend Eleanor reminds us: no one can make you feel inferior without your consent - don't give your consent to be treated as anything ordinary, you are far from.

#2016kylietip You're amazing - you are unique, wonderful, perfectly made. Believe that and you'll never let anybody dare treat you otherwise. Even if sometimes you feel a little alone, at the very least you'll always be able to trust that you won't let yourself down, even if so many do.

4. You only make people better by treating them like they *are* better. 

This is a nuance to the last point. Nobody is perfect, least of all you. Expect better of people, but know that *you* make people better only by showing them how truly amazing they are, and then treating them as such. Nobody ever wants to change for an asshole, but everybody wants to live up to what the people around them think they are.

#2016kylietip Be a friend, forgive others, set examples, watch people around you grow as a result. 

5. The things you're passionate about make you who you are: don't let anybody convince you otherwise. 

Passion is what drives humanity toward good, beauty, truth, progress. Nobody ever achieved anything by giving up when things got hard or when they were mocked for that one thing they just refused to give up on. However minuscule it is or however silly it may seem, just know that indifference never achieved anything. Again channelling Mrs. Roosevelt: the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

#2016kylietip Hold on to the things that make your heart flutter and your brain hurt. Don't ever let go of what you know is your contribution to the world around you. 

So. What about 2017, then? 

In January, while on a spiritual retreat with some of my favourite people in the world, I wrote myself a letter. It got mailed to me recently to remind me of how I felt that weekend - unfailingly my favourite weekend of every year. The last few words I wrote to myself summarise my 2017 resolution (and indeed my entire #lifegoal).

Love recklessly, pray ceaselessly. All is in that.

When these are only SOME of the people who make up your
universe, you're bound to come out OK (at least...)

Don’t Wake Jesus – He Hears You When He is Sleeping…

Let’s call him Jonathan. Jonathan is my brother in Christ. He is tall, dark, handsome, intelligent and witty. He is fun-loving and loud and always the life of the party. He is as passionate as they come, and more annoying than you could ever begin to imagine. He wears his heart on his sleeve, will give up everything for those he loves and is much too loving to hold a grudge or act out of spite. He also has a potty mouth, a quick, explosive temper and will openly tell you that patience is not his strong suit, mainly because he doesn’t try hard enough.

He is also living proof that you can fall in love absolutely in love and then… well, forget.

Jonathan used to love the rosary. Jonathan knows it is a mortal sin not to attend mass on Sundays. He knows this so well that if he did happen to go to mass and had not attended confession, he would not dare receive communion.

It was the fact that he knew all of this and yet was not in a state of grace that truly broke my heart.

Jonathan went from daily rosaries and weekly mass to desperate, sporadic prayer and mass a few times a year. He went from examining his conscience regularly to ignoring that little voice in his head (God’s) and that loud voice in his ear (me) telling him he was selling himself short, that he was missing the mark, that he was made for greatness and yet was settling for much less than mediocrity.

My heart was so broken by this that it caused many an argument between My Lord and I. I would tell Him how much I was hurting (like He didn’t already know). I would lament HIS lack of action (humble, I know). I would cry and I would beg and I would ask Him why He was ignoring me, why I couldn’t hear or feel Him – why He wouldn’t just fix it.

I would pray (not hard enough), then I would do everything I could to bring Jonathan back. I tried lecturing him (FYI – it never works). I tried encouraging him by working my own Sunday mass times around his schedules and begging him to come. I tried asking his friends to come with me, hoping if they came he may be more inclined to make an effort. I tried everything I could think of.

Everything, that is, except leaving it to God.

I’ve told this story in part before.

At my first silent retreat, I took to reading ‘Confessions’ by St. Augustine. Augustine was a wicked youth. His mother, St. Monica, prayed for him so earnestly that even on her deathbed, she told him that his conversion was all she lived for. Augustine recorded her words to this effect: "son, nothing in this world now affords me delight. I do not know what there is now left for me to do or why I am still here, all my hopes in this world being now fulfilled."

Mama Mons, as I like to call her, never gave up on Augustine, no matter how wicked he got or how hopeless the situation seemed. One day, while she was weeping and begging a Bishop to speak to him and convince him out of moving to Milan, lest he be lost forever, the bishop got frustrated and wisely told her, 'the son of all these tears cannot be lost.' It was in Milan that he met St. Ambrose and was converted - the rest is history.

Monica’s steadfastness and the faith of this wise bishop convinced me that the son of all my tears would not be lost, either. My beloved Lord was not ignoring me – rather, He was simply sleeping in my boat, and, like the apostles, I lacked the faith to let Him weather the storm. In order for us to allow the Lord to deliver, we must keep Him company, not disturbing His slumber. This means prayer and trust, hand in hand, never neglecting one or the other.

With this in mind, St. Rita (patroness of impossible causes) joined Augustine and Monica in Our Church Triumphant dream-team. Most efficaciously of all, this team was captained by the Queen of Heaven and Earth, who could not ignore the pleadings of Jonathan’s earthly mother after she entrusted her son’s soul to this marvellous advocate.

It was this abandonment to Christ that was finally the catalyst for Jonathan’s coming home, and it was, without a doubt, the most wonderful miracle I have ever witnessed. After what felt like many, many tears over many, many years, what we had most desired happened  in the most sublimely simple and yet most astonishingly wondrous fashion.

Jonathan met a couple of wonderful Catholics who simply and subtly loved him into Jesus’ embrace. They watched sports together, found things in common with him and through the world of friendship, showed Him Christ.

Very soon after this, Jonathan went to mass of his own accord. The week after, I looked over at the confession line during mass and saw him standing there, waiting to receive the healing of Christ. My joy in seeing that cannot ever be described. Only in Heaven can anybody ever comprehend what I felt in that moment. It was then that the reality of Christ’s love became evident to me: Christ desires Jonathan so much because his soul is more precious than all of creation.

The creator of Heaven and Earth fashioned the stars and allowed the oceans to roar for Jonathan alone. He came to Earth, suffered, died, resurrected, ascended, sent His Holy Advocate and now waits in the tabernacle day and night for Jonathan alone. He waits day and night, captive, alone, abandoned – all for Jonathan alone.

The Lord answered our pleadings because He does not want to spend eternity without His most precious children. Our requests are not foreign to Him – He knows the deepest desires of our hearts, and He desires our salvation and the salvation of those we love more than we ever could. Jonathan taught me that nobody is ever lost. Jonathan taught me that love conquers all, that Our Lord does not let us suffer in vain, and that hope is a virtue that can overcome all hardship.

Expecting miracles of our Lord is not self-absorbed, and it is not naiveté. It is what He asked of us when we were told to put our trust in Him – and when we do, OH the rewards.

How can we ever doubt His love when miracles surround us in every moment? If only we had the eyes to see and the hearts to believe…

Jesus calmed the storm... but not before letting the disciples

know He would probably have preferred

a few more minutes of shut-eye...

Christians, We Need to Learn to Shoosh!

This blog post may seem like an admonition: it’s not. Well, it may be. OK, it is – for some.

This is not an attempt for *me* to justify *myself* as much as it is a plea to Catholics – especially young Catholics – everywhere.

When I tell people I’m Catholic, there are a wide range of reactions I often receive.

From ‘me too’ to a smile or even a blank face, from ‘I'm not religious but-that-Pope-Francis-is-really-something’ to ‘DO YOU KNOW PELL SHOULD BE IN JAIL?!?!?,’ telling people you're Catholic is always a hoot.

My favourite reaction? It may surprise you:

“You’re Catholic? Wow, I didn’t even know! You seem so… well, normal!”

Now, I know it seems crazy. I *like* when people don’t know I’m Catholic, I *like* when people see something in me and are surprised it comes from my feeble attempts to be utterly devoted to Christ. The reason for this?

I want people to see my joy and ask me where it comes from. Maybe I oversimplify things, but to me, our faith is simple. Judgment is even simpler. What we will be judged on? Read this – salvation summarised beautifully by Blessed Mother Teresa:

“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by ‘I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.’” (Matthew 25:35-45)

Let me add something to this wonderful woman’s words: you will not be *positively* judged on how much of a despondent Christian you are or how many ‘this is why you need to change’ discourses you give throughout the day.

Our faith is simple. 

I can imagine people’s reactions to this – “BUT BUT BUT we are called to be ‘in this world, but not of this world…’” (John 15:19)

YES, but chill. Not being of the world doesn't mean loathing all earthly things and becoming a bitter, preachy misery to be around - it simply means being able to withdraw yourself from the world and value heavenly things above things that will perish. 

Our faith is simple.

Let me make the point of this post easy-as-pie: you can talk about Jesus without mentioning His name. That is actually what ‘preaching without words’ IS.

Instead of feeling the need to walk up to someone and randomly ask them about the state of their spiritual life, PRAY FOR THEM.
Instead of having a deluded sense of ‘humility’ and talking about every one of your earthly talents as distractions from your spiritual life, or ultimately useless because-you’re-not-going-to-sing/dance/slam dunk-your-way-to-Heaven, use that talent for good.

Instead of telling people you are a Christian, let them know you are Christian by your love (ahem… your SILENT love).

Our faith is simple.

For the sake of those that will take these words out of context: I am NOT telling people never to mention the name at which all knees bow. What I am telling people is that as Christians, we are called to be *in this world.* What that means is that even if we are not *of this world,* we still need to live *in this world,* and evangelisation does not mean cutting yourself off from normalcy and joy and choosing instead to bulldoze over people on your high horse, all the while proclaiming their ignorance when they don’t succumb to your “wisdom.”

Loving Jesus is great but ultimately hypocritical if we treat others as inferior because they see things differently to us. 
Going to church is great, but not if it means you go there simply to belong to some sort of exclusive cohort of other holier-than-thou’s.

Talking about our faith and being open about our convictions is great, but can be more harmful than good if we do it without the tact it requires (Note: if you don’t know the tact it requires, shoosh – you’ll do *much* less damage)

Our faith is simple.

Evangelisation is not about ripping out pages of the Summa and shoving it down people’s throats. It isn’t about making sure people notice the shrine hanging around your neck. It’s not even about TELLING people you are a Christian. It’s about BEING a Christian. AS A CHRISTIAN, more is expected of you - that is, more love, less talk.

Be someone’s friend: listen more than you speak. Love them, and the rest will come.

When you are perfectly yourself, perfectly NORMAL and perfectly holy, you glorify God. Dare I say, He probably dances around His throne at the very sight of it.

Just shoosh, God won’t be mad, I promise.